Just so you know--I don't ask Holly to write these things. She just...writes them. And sends them to me. And then I post them for you.
As ever, her words are chock-full of wisdom.
I saw two common problems with the loglines in this group:
1. Order. Much like with your novel, there are reasons why we need to see the NEED and then the INCITING INCIDENT and then the GOAL and then the OBSTACLES. A lot of these loglines had these elements, but many were out of order. This isn’t a huge problem, however the loglines are stronger when they come in the order that has the greatest effect. Also, remember that these loglines are like an ad for your novel and you (the writer). If an agent/editor sees a weird order in a logline, they might start to wonder if your book is all over the place, too. YOU DON’T WANT THAT! Final note: if you are struggling with the order of elements in your novel, get a copy of Save the Cat. It’s a wonderful tool I still use during revision (I know Authoress loves it, too!)
2. Goal not connected to obstacles. This one is really important: your obstacles have to stand in the way of the main character reaching the goal. So, if your main character’s goal is to win a soccer trophy at a tournament tomorrow, the obstacles must prevent the character from going to the tournament, or playing well, or winning. While it might suck for this character to find out her prom dress is going to be the wrong color, this would not be an obstacle to her goal.
Finally, there was only one question in all 40 loglines so I thank you for giving the poo-flinger a break!