I think I’ve seen this before… Anyway, it’s interesting, but doesn’t really reveal as much as I’d like to see, nor really enough to hook me yet. Obviously it’s a fantasy, but there’s no sense of conflict or importance yet that would make the reader care about this observation.
Hmm, ancient dragons and creatures...not my thing, but this really is too broad for the first two sentences. At this point I'm thinking 'what about this not-the-oldest-creature? And why do we need to know how old it is?' Didn't get a whole lot from this, sorry. Not hooked.
Interesting. I like the tone. I'd keep reading.
ReplyDeleteLove it.
ReplyDeleteI would start the second sentence with Dragons - take out the, the. Definetly would keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI like it. I'd definitely keep reading
ReplyDeleteI like it. I wish you'd added a 'but' at the end to tell what he/she is. I'd definitely read more.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of books with dragons, but (that's a personal thing).
ReplyDeleteThis is a good start.
Good job!
I like this. It sets a mood right away and makes readers ask questions from the very beginning.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, I like the tempo: short, crisp, no nonsense. :-)
this is great!
ReplyDeleteI think I’ve seen this before…
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it’s interesting, but doesn’t really reveal as much as I’d like to see, nor really enough to hook me yet. Obviously it’s a fantasy, but there’s no sense of conflict or importance yet that would make the reader care about this observation.
I am not the oldest creature alive. The dragons are far more ancient.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a dragon-story reader, but like kat, that's a personal preference.
This is short and to the point. I think it has great potential.
I'm at work, skimming through the sentences before racing out the door to, ya know, /work/, and this one really caught my eye.
ReplyDeleteI love it. Nice work.
I'm not a fan of dragons, but I thought this was a good opening.
ReplyDeleteInteresting - I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteI like this, as long as we shortly get to learn who/what the narrator is.
ReplyDeleteHmm, ancient dragons and creatures...not my thing, but this really is too broad for the first two sentences. At this point I'm thinking 'what about this not-the-oldest-creature? And why do we need to know how old it is?' Didn't get a whole lot from this, sorry. Not hooked.
ReplyDeleteYep, I'd be all over this. Very cool.
ReplyDeleteIt's great, but I don't really like reading about draggons.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great comments! It's okay to be in the minority too, some of the "didn't likes" were very insightful.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how many people are turned on or off by a particular word, like, say... oh, Dragon.
This not being a dragon book, but a book where dragons are listed among the mythical and fantastic, that's a great bit of knowledge to keep in mind.
Lots of amazing entries in this contest; very inspiring :)