Oh, my goodness. This, gentle friends, is real critiquing.
Give me a moment.
"This is too hard! I'll never be any good at it! I'm a hack, a poseur, a pitiful wannabe! What have I done to myself? No one understands me. Snivel."
Ok, I'm done.
I appreciate every mot. Especially the style issues. I've never been satisfied with my voice.
And, the sexual tension, which I didn't believe I could do but apparently create without trying and where I don't want it. Errg.
FYI, for those interested, might be considered bi, though he prefers men and his experience with women is limited to a period when he was drinking and drugging while trying to get over Josh. A time when, in his own words, "he'd f*** anything that walked upright". He's currently in a committed, gay relationship. Hence, there will be no hanky panky with Melanie. His interest is professional, he's impressed with her performance, and the fact they were both in love with the same man. The theme is reconciliation.
Thank you all so much. I thoroughly recognize and appreciate the thought and effort each of you put into your comments on my behalf.
I'll start putting what was discussed here into effect once I recover.
BTW, I tentatively called it Love Story actually to differentiate it from genre romance. In my mind, the two are not synonymous . No man, gay, bi or straight, willing to risk an already committed relationship (Ramon) to pursue a new one would make the grade as a romance hero. Sorry for the confusion the title created.