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Wednesday, December 3, 2008
It was hard to believe that Peter Franklin Cooper was struck by lightning that Friday afternoon in May. After all, it wasn’t even raining.
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Hooked for the moment. It's certainly intriguing.ReplyDelete
The problem with this sort of opening, imo, is that it promises a great deal and the writing has to hold up to it.
So if the first couple paras aren't as witty and strong as this, or if it launches into back story or setup, I'm going to drop it like a bad habit.
I despise books with great opening hooks that shine followed by meh.
But you've got a reader thus far :)
This is wonderful! I'd have to keep reading to just find out what was going on. The only thing that bothered me a little was the usage of a middle name "Franklin". It stopped the flow for me. Otherwise, awesome hook!ReplyDelete
This is good, very good indeed. Though I do agree with what - I hope the rest holds up to this! :)ReplyDelete
Still, am hooked.
I like this. I'd keep reading for sure. But yes, better keep up with the promises of action here.ReplyDelete
I like it too, and agree with Wulf.ReplyDelete
Great hook. I want to see what comes next.ReplyDelete
I only quibbled aboutthe "in May" because it seemed unneccessary, or I didn't get the significance.ReplyDelete
Otherwise... I'm curious.:]
LOL! Yes. But like Wulfie says, you're setting it up so you HAVE to deliver on this hook or it won't work.ReplyDelete
For now, though, yes, I like it. ;) I'd read on--and hope my expectations are met.
Good start. I'd read on to find out who Peter is and why I should care what happened to him.ReplyDelete
Great hook. I agree with the others though. It would have to live up to its promise. I'm very intrigued.ReplyDelete
Hmm...slightly hooked. Why? Because it doesn't have to rain for there to be lighting--there just has to be stormy weather. And May is a month rife with severe weather in the US.ReplyDelete
Also, I'm not sure if the disbelief indicates something malicious occured or if something fantastical occured.
I'd give it a few more sentences.
Like it a lot. Nothing to criticize.ReplyDelete
Eh. Even though a guy with an unnecessary third name was struck by lightning, I’m not really hooked. Also, lightning can happen without rain, so perhaps the effect you were going for was “it was not even cloudy” ?? Perhaps… Then again, it’s hard to believe you started a book with “it’s hard to believe.” You can do better.ReplyDelete
Very interesting. As long as a POV character is introduced fairly quickly, I'd absolutely read on.ReplyDelete
Great job! Love these sentences.ReplyDelete
Unless you give me more details, it is *not* hard for me to believe someone was struck by lightning without rain in May.ReplyDelete
I don't mean to sound like I'm landing on you with all fours here, but is there any way to rework that first sentence so it doesn't begin with the vague pronoun "it"? Starting a novel with a throwaway word just seems so wrong. (There's also a "that" in there, but I was so overcome by "it," "that" seemed minor by comparison.)ReplyDelete
What about something like "No one could believe Peter Franklin Cooper was struck by lightning on a clear afternoon in May." (I'd only leave "in May" in the first sentence if you deem it imperative readers know RIGHT AWAY where they are on the calendar.)
Off the subject entirely, I'm curious: Is Peter Franklin Cooper a serial killer? Serial killers always seem to have three names....
Nice job! Hooked!ReplyDelete