Miss Snark's First Victim
On one hand there seems to be no conflict presented in this opening statement. Ironically, that's the conflict in itself. So, yeah, I'm kind of curious to see where this is going.Good job.
I have no idea what "Everything is coming up Patrick" means. So I'm lost.
I don't understand the first sentence. If that's what you were going for - great! I guess I'd keep reading to try to understand?
The first sentence went right over my head... Sorry, but I'm lost.
I'm with the others who don't get the first sentence. Does it mean everything's going your/Patrick's way? I would read a few more sentences, but if I found myself regularly lost, I'd stop.
To all other commenters, I know what the first line means! That everything is going Patrick's way. (It's a saying a lot of young people use.)Hmm, I like it. The second line is a bit too familiar though. Any other way you could describe his feelings, beyond the need to pinch himself?
Er, I'm confused--the narrator is Patrick? What does "coming up Patrick" even mean? :S I rather like the tone in the second sentence but the first one just doesn't make any sense to me, sorry.
No. I'm not really sure what the first sentence means... :[
Sorry, but I don't quite get it. I'd put the book back on the shelf. it is close to being fun with the second sentence. I might read on to see if the next sentence explains these two.
Yeah, the first sentence makes no sense to me. I guess it's akin to "everything's coming up roses" but it reads weird, especially with the italicized 'me' tacked on the end. 2nd sentence: better.Overall, not hooked.
I love it. I get it. You smug little turd!
I get it. I like it. I'd read further, hoping to find out that he's bad. Hope he's not a goodie-goodie...
I’m lost, confused, and not hooked. Sorry.
This one lost me. Not hooked.
Sorry, but not hooked. The MC comes across as arrogant, and there's absolutely no conflict if everything is going perfectly for him.
A word of thanks from the author:Cheers for the feedback! This has been really helpful, I can't thank you enough.Yes, the first sentence is a take on the line: "Everything's coming up roses." In my part of the world, it's very common to insert your own name in place of 'roses'; to indicate that everything is going your way. Now I know this isn't common elsewhere! Huh, food for thought. :)And, yes, like the first commenter guessed, the lack of conflict evident in these two sentences is an essential part of the conflict. Because, in about one hundred words, his life comes crashing down around him.Thanks again! And thanks, Authoress. It was great to be a part of this.
Everything is coming up Patrick--me...........NOI could pinch myself for the perfection of it. .........yesmust be a romance.
I got the twist on "everything is coming up roses," but the "--me" at the end threw me. Like the second sentence, though. :-)