Miss Snark's First Victim
“Why can’t I wait here?” Tia Masconi asked, sitting on the bed in her hotel room.
“Do you speak Norwegian?” Mom called from the bathroom.
Sounds like a fun character story. I'd read on
Interesting character, but I'd like to see something to show why the question from the mom.
The dialogue seems quirky, which I love. However, the sentence structure surrounding it could be a little more varied. Tia askedMom called Maybe just change that up a bit for a smoother read. But the dialogue does a lot of the work for you -- I imagine Mom's words being slightly quippy and sarcastic.
The characters seem pretty interesting but I'm confused about the correlation of the two bits of dialogue. I'd keep reading to find out but if it wasn't cleared up soon, I'd be disappointed.
Dialog is great, narration is meh. Zip it up and you've got a wulfish reader.
Simply, yet effective. I wonder though, do we need the last name right there? Might just be a pet peeve of mine. :)
Ditto on the last name. I think the Norwegian thing is because they're in Norway...? Which leads me to wonder what they're doing there, and what must Mom do that Tia doesn't wanna come along with. It seems like a comfy, quieter kind of story, which I like. :)
Huh... I'm not sure, just yet. I take it the mom/daughter duo are in Norway, and the Mom doesn't want to leave her daughter alone, in case something happens...er... or?
I'd read more to see where it's going.
I don't immediately see a connection between the two sentences, but I'm assuming that Tia's ability(or inability) to speak Norwegian is the determining factor on whether she can stay in the room.That said, I'm intrigued. I would read on.
YA, right? Teenagers aren't my fav read. Good start for the genre, but doesn't grab me.
Wow, cool beginning. I'd read on to see where the heck they are and what they're up to.
This one made me chuckle, just because of how random the mom’s question seems. Based on these two lines I would at least read the rest of the page to see if it hooks me further.
Other than the character refering to herself by both her first and last names (which most folks don't do when thinking about themselves), I liked this and the preculiarity of the mother's response. I'd read on to find out more.