Miss Snark's First Victim
Great setup with minimal verbiage! Keep it coming.
Love this! You really can say so much with two sentences, can't you?
I like it and I'd definitely keep reading, but I'm not sure you need the emphasis in both sentences. Although, I can't decide which I think is more important, so maybe it's fine.
I would read on. I don't like the emphasis in both sentences, though. I think it might work fine without them.
I would read on to see who is "they"...
Is this YA? I'd guess so, given all the emphasis. I don't mind it so much here, but keep it up too much and it becomes annoying/distracting. I hands-down adore this, though. I'd buy the book.
Sweet. One wulfish fan coming up. That is, as long as the rest of the chapter delivers on the lofty promise of these two lines.
It occurred to me instantly after posting my comment, that I'd be twice as interested if the MC had said "I didn't _want_ to hate them."Hopefully the conflict and tension that creates are obvious without a need to expound (or did I just then?)
Hate who???I want to see the people and their actions before I see reactions.
Interesting setup but still a bit vague with 'they'. I'd give it gander to see what goes on.
I like this! Short and sweet and loaded with potential for all sorts of conflict.I think I might eliminate one or the other or both emphases. I'm not convinced you need either one, but if I were going to keep one, I'd keep the first. (Just in case you wanted to know that.) :-)
Definitely intrigued. It's hard to do the minimalist approach, but you nailed it! I'd absolutely read on.
Hmmm. . . I'd probably read on to see what they were talking about. But this isn't all that intriguing so far.
It feels a little awkward to me. It doesn’t really hook me either. Sorry.
Ah, *adores*! :)