TITLE: Secrets Awakened
GENRE: YA SF
In a domed society where being different is dangerous, Kyle’s and Simber’s unusual talents are discovered by the unscrupulous leader of the secret police who wants to use their talents as weapons. Unless Kyle and Simber can escape the domes, they will become society’s worst enemies.
I got to the end and was still scratching my head at domed society. Are they literally trapped under domes? Maybe give a few key details at the beginning to paint a clearer picture. In a city trapped beneath a dome, being different is dangerous. Also, what are their talents? The stakes don't feel high enough. What will happen if they become society's worst enemies. I like the premise, but I think a few more details would really hook me.
ReplyDeleteI think you've done a good job establishing the plot, but I'd really like to know what Kyle and Simber's talents are.
ReplyDeleteHow is this different from every other kids-who-have-power-that-people-want-to-exploit book? From what you have, I'd imagine it has something to do with the dome? Is one power the ability to shatter glass, and if Kyle is forced to use it, he may kill everyone? I think some idea as to why the domes are there and why the kids would be a threat will help your premise stand out.
ReplyDeleteDitto wanting to know just what exactly their talents are, and also how is it that being different is dangerous . . . is it merely a matter of conforming to social norms, or is, say, the environment precarious?
ReplyDeleteThe setting is interesting but a domed society would give rise to specific kinds of problems, much as the claustrophobia of any small town does. Domes are created as utopian idyls but could easily become unbearable if something went awry.
ReplyDeleteI really think this is interesting, but what exactly is dangerous about being different? And how 'different' is it? Do they kill people who don't get C averages in school? Is having a limp cause for prison?
ReplyDeleteYou need to be more specific about what you mean by using them as weapons as this is their motivation for their goal to escape. Aside from that, we need to know why escaping will be hard.
ReplyDeleteGood luck,
Holly
Agreed. I think this is missing the spark of what makes it interesting. Other than the domed part, what makes this society problematic/interesting?
ReplyDeleteBeing different is dangerous everywhere--do you mean that the society is highly structured and controlled? Do their powers directly contradict the basis of this society? I think you should leave off the domed part and focus on how their difference excludes them from society and can be used as weaponry.