I really like this one! I mean, i don't know how much weight my opinion holds, but i like how short and to the point it is. I'd look at pages based off this
This sounds like an exciting story. I think your logline would be even more intriguing if you were more specific. (1) In what way is *future* sci-fi? As is, it sounds like it could be time travel or even steampunk. (2) How is Caddy able to enlist the help of a vigilante? (3) I think you've implied stakes, but not stated them. Jail? Execution? Something else? Good luck!
I like that it's short and to the point. I do agree that I don't see anything fantastical enough to place it into the fantasy genre. Personally, the kind of skewed reality I'm about to plunge into is what hooks me into a book more than anything. Good Luck!
This is fantastic, but possibly a touch too short. It's very simplified and not far from tweet length, so you definitely have some room. I agree that you should add some of the futuristic elements so we can see why this is so interesting (otherwise, it should be contemporary).
This is good but almost a little too sparse. You need to start with what incites the story (her being framed), then give us the goal (clear her name) and then tell us why this will be hard for her to do and what she has to lose if she doesn't do it. Stories are journeys so it's important not to just give the start and end points.
I really like this one! I mean, i don't know how much weight my opinion holds, but i like how short and to the point it is. I'd look at pages based off this
ReplyDeleteOther than the words, "in a future Italy" this could read as a contemporay. I'd put in more of the Sci Fi elements but otherwise it's good.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like an exciting story. I think your logline would be even more intriguing if you were more specific. (1) In what way is *future* sci-fi? As is, it sounds like it could be time travel or even steampunk. (2) How is Caddy able to enlist the help of a vigilante? (3) I think you've implied stakes, but not stated them. Jail? Execution? Something else?
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I like that it's short and to the point. I do agree that I don't see anything fantastical enough to place it into the fantasy genre. Personally, the kind of skewed reality I'm about to plunge into is what hooks me into a book more than anything. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteI like it. The one thing I wonder is "framed by whom"?
ReplyDeleteThis is great! Though I do wonder about the sci-fi element--is it only because it's in the future?
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic, but possibly a touch too short. It's very simplified and not far from tweet length, so you definitely have some room. I agree that you should add some of the futuristic elements so we can see why this is so interesting (otherwise, it should be contemporary).
ReplyDeleteThis is good but almost a little too sparse. You need to start with what incites the story (her being framed), then give us the goal (clear her name) and then tell us why this will be hard for her to do and what she has to lose if she doesn't do it. Stories are journeys so it's important not to just give the start and end points.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Holly