Meh. It's ok. I never start with dailogue, but this seems ok. I might just jump to the wince...but this works. I'd read more, but I'd want it to pick-up fast.
it's not knocking me off my feet or anything, but honestly how many openers do? It's solid, I'd read on, although I admit I didn't get the Apple thing until I read the comments.
Yes. Not intensly hooked, but not I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteAlas! Apple, don't leave us!
ReplyDeleteOkay, kind of hooked. Mostly sad about my iMac's future.
cute, but not totally hooked
ReplyDelete"As old as Apple." Ha!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'd read on.
Not immediately hooked... but I'd read on a little further to judge.
ReplyDeleteI too laughed at the Apple line. I'm not really hooked, but I'd give it a little more of a chance.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked.
ReplyDeleteMeh. It's ok. I never start with dailogue, but this seems ok. I might just jump to the wince...but this works. I'd read more, but I'd want it to pick-up fast.
ReplyDeleteProbably a personal thing, but the reference to Apple threw me off. I might read the first page, but not much more.
ReplyDeleteThe Apple line was cute, but not hooked. A kid is being called to the principal's office.
ReplyDeleteMaybe start with him in the office so we know immediately what the problem is?
Not grabbed. Too mundane of an opening, I think.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. I do LOVE the opening sentence — hearing that'd send a chill up ANYONE'S spine! ㋡
ReplyDeleteMaybe. Like the reference to Apple--shows that something so cool now isn't in this world.
ReplyDeleteI wondered why he was more worried about the intercom system than about being called to the principal. Semi-hooked.
ReplyDeleteI think this would be improved if you took out the opening line and included it in the second one so we don't start with a line of dialogue.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'd read on for the Apple reference.
ReplyDeleteit's not knocking me off my feet or anything, but honestly how many openers do? It's solid, I'd read on, although I admit I didn't get the Apple thing until I read the comments.
ReplyDelete