Thursday, March 25, 2010

6 Upper YA UF

TITLE: The Devil You Know
GENRE: Upper YA Urban Fantasy



The doctors were going to kill me if I didn’t get out of here. They wouldn’t mean to, but their intentions wouldn’t change the result

27 comments:

  1. Like it - interested in the medical setting and the 'condition'

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  2. I like the first sentence. That is a keeper and a definite hook.

    But I kept stumbling over the second sentence. Wouldn'tX2 bothering my eyes possibly. Maybe rephrase to something more like:

    "They had good intentions, but those wouldn't change the ending result."

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  3. Hooked. "They wouldn't mean to" gives it a voice I like.

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  4. Not hooked....seemed like it should read "didn't get out of THERE" instead of "here" and I got caught up in that. Took me out of the story.

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  5. I like this beginning. I think the writing could be tighter, tho, or different in same way, but I'd read on. Good job!

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  6. I'm definitely interested. I agree with what others said about the tenses and the second sentence - it was a little awkward to me. Would love it if you showed this scene rather than told us about it (like where is the narrator? what are they feeling?) but I'm intrigued with the concept!

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  7. I've heard this title used elsewhere, but I like the opening. I'd read on a bit more.

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  8. I like the title, and would have to keep reading to find out how and why the doctors were going to kill him.

    Hooked.

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  9. Who is speaking?Get out of where? Don't care what the doctor's intentions are. I want to care about the protag...

    Not hooked

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  10. I really like this. I'd read on.

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  11. I would have to keep reading.

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  12. This has tense issues and in all honesty I'd be reluctant to pick up a book that starts out mixing tenses.

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  13. I like it and would read on (not fond of the title, though).

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  14. Not a big fan of openers that read like summaries

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