Thursday, March 25, 2010

7 YA Chick Lit

TITLE: My Own Summer
GENRE: YA Chick-Lit


A piece of paper. It's what started and ended this whole mess. One little piece of paper that would change my whole life.

29 comments:

  1. I would re-word this slightly, but am definitely hooked.

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  2. I'm intrigued...I'd keep reading, and I'm generally more fantasy than chick-lit. Nicely done!

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  3. Mm, maybe. Close? I'd read on to see where it went.

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  4. I'd give it a little more to see if we find out what the piece of paper is soon. If not, I'm not sure I'd keep going.

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  5. Consider a litte wordsmithing, but hooked.

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  6. You'd have a great hook if this was one short sentence. Reworking it will do this.

    Good luck!

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  7. Semi-hooked. I would be interested to see what the piece of paper was (diploma, birth certificate, letter, advertisement...) as the possibilities are endless and interesting. And I like YA.

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  8. Almost not hooked. The third sentence, imo, belabored the point. I'd give it a couple more sentences.

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  9. Not quite hooked. Agree with Fairchild, 2nd and 3rd sentence say the same thing.

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  10. a little intrigued, but not totally hooked

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  11. I liked the beginning, but felt myself wanting to tweak the words a bit for flow. Like:

    "A piece of paper. That's what started and ended this whole mess. One little piece of paper changed my whole life."

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  12. Very close, for me. Nice hook. I'd suggest combining into two sentences, so you're not belaboring the point.

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  13. I want to know what's on that paper so I'd keep reading.

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  14. Yeah, curious to see what's on that paper. So I'd read on.

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  15. Not hooked. The second sentence tells me everything has already happened (Because it began and ended) and she's going to tell me about it. I don't want to be told. I want to be there.

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  16. I'm hooked. This is very much an awesome start.

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  17. I would definitely read on. Like someone else said, I'd change "It's" to "That's" in the second sentence.

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  18. Curious about the paper - but not hooked. I've seen this approach before - a piece of paper changing the course of your life - so the next few sentences would be key.

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  19. i'd read on, even though it sounded a tad cliche.

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  20. I think paper has been used before (The Note) and seems overly-dramatic, especially last sentence...Not hooked

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  21. Interesting. A letter? A report card? I would definitely read on.

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  22. A life-changing piece of paper could be a cliche depending on next sentence.

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  23. Not quite hooked with this one. Sorry.

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