I stumbled over the name (and kept making me think "Wesley Wyndham-Price"), but the belching part made me giggle. I'd read on at least a little further.
The name is an instant turnoff, and 'perched' made me groan, but the rest of the sentence reeled me back in. I can't say I'm hooked, but I'd read more.
Hooked me...I immediately thought..she is a lady but she is pretending to be otherwise and as such she should now perhaps belch as a non-lady would...but would this be the right time etc. sort of second guessing her role playing.
So who is she pretending to be and why etc. Lots to reel me in there. And maybe I read the entire thing wrong.
I would somehow shorten her name, especially since it's what starts us off, but between the humor and the feel I'm already getting for this character, I'm hooked.
I love that you have a "Lady" thinking about belching, but I found the really long name right at the beginning a little awkward. But I'd read on!
ReplyDeleteI seriously laughed out loud...Hooked...
ReplyDeleteMade me smile. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm hooked.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about the character name, but the uncomfortable situation made me laugh. Definitely still reading this one.
ReplyDeleteTotally got me. A Lady out of her element. Good job.
ReplyDeleteOf course I'm hooked...but I was the copyeditor. ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL! Hooked. :)
ReplyDeleteI stumbled over the name (and kept making me think "Wesley Wyndham-Price"), but the belching part made me giggle. I'd read on at least a little further.
ReplyDeleteNot a fan of the woman's name, but I like the belching part :)
ReplyDeleteHooked!
ReplyDeleteSlightly hooked... I'm girly enough that the belch thing doesn't hook me. But I do like this otherwise.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. Not sure why. Just didn't call to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm in. I'd buy the book!
ReplyDeleteHooked. Ladies belch, too.
ReplyDeleteHooked. I'm curious and I laughed.
ReplyDeleteI love it. Made me smile. Totally hooked.
ReplyDeleteLove it. Great voice. I'm hooked.
ReplyDeleteThe name is an instant turnoff, and 'perched' made me groan, but the rest of the sentence reeled me back in. I can't say I'm hooked, but I'd read more.
ReplyDeleteLove the "lady" thinking about belching - the name is a little clunky, though. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteLove the humor! I'd read on.
ReplyDeletehe he. hooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked. It reminds me of the tone in Gail Carriger's Soulless, which I loved.
ReplyDeleteMade me laugh. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked. Unique and funny.
ReplyDeletedefinitely hooked!
ReplyDeleteHooked. I love Remora.
ReplyDeleteHooked me...I immediately thought..she is a lady but she is pretending to be otherwise and as such she should now perhaps belch as a non-lady would...but would this be the right time etc. sort of second guessing her role playing.
ReplyDeleteSo who is she pretending to be and why etc. Lots to reel me in there. And maybe I read the entire thing wrong.
I would definitely read more.
Love the voice, but I tripped over the name. "Windgates" threw me a bit.
ReplyDeleteI chuckled. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteI would somehow shorten her name, especially since it's what starts us off, but between the humor and the feel I'm already getting for this character, I'm hooked.
ReplyDeleteA few less adjectives and I'm hooked. Love the belching.
ReplyDeleteYou got me!
ReplyDeleteHooked. Also, for a Lady, the long name seems appropriate. I'd read more.
ReplyDeleteIt's good, but not really my thing opening-wise.
ReplyDelete