Thursday, March 25, 2010

20 YA Fantasy

TITLE: CHOOSE
GENRE: YA Fantasy


Lady Remora Windgates Price perched uncomfortably on the edge of the
dirty bar stool and wondered if perhaps now was an appropriate time to
belch.

35 comments:

  1. I love that you have a "Lady" thinking about belching, but I found the really long name right at the beginning a little awkward. But I'd read on!

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  2. I seriously laughed out loud...Hooked...

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  3. Not sure about the character name, but the uncomfortable situation made me laugh. Definitely still reading this one.

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  4. Totally got me. A Lady out of her element. Good job.

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  5. Of course I'm hooked...but I was the copyeditor. ;)

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  6. I stumbled over the name (and kept making me think "Wesley Wyndham-Price"), but the belching part made me giggle. I'd read on at least a little further.

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  7. Not a fan of the woman's name, but I like the belching part :)

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  8. Slightly hooked... I'm girly enough that the belch thing doesn't hook me. But I do like this otherwise.

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  9. Not hooked. Not sure why. Just didn't call to me.

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  10. Hooked. I'm curious and I laughed.

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  11. I love it. Made me smile. Totally hooked.

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  12. Love it. Great voice. I'm hooked.

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  13. The name is an instant turnoff, and 'perched' made me groan, but the rest of the sentence reeled me back in. I can't say I'm hooked, but I'd read more.

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  14. Love the "lady" thinking about belching - the name is a little clunky, though. Hooked.

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  15. Hooked. It reminds me of the tone in Gail Carriger's Soulless, which I loved.

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  16. Made me laugh. Hooked.

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  17. Hooked me...I immediately thought..she is a lady but she is pretending to be otherwise and as such she should now perhaps belch as a non-lady would...but would this be the right time etc. sort of second guessing her role playing.


    So who is she pretending to be and why etc. Lots to reel me in there. And maybe I read the entire thing wrong.

    I would definitely read more.

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  18. Love the voice, but I tripped over the name. "Windgates" threw me a bit.

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  19. I would somehow shorten her name, especially since it's what starts us off, but between the humor and the feel I'm already getting for this character, I'm hooked.

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  20. A few less adjectives and I'm hooked. Love the belching.

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  21. Hooked. Also, for a Lady, the long name seems appropriate. I'd read more.

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  22. It's good, but not really my thing opening-wise.

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