Miss Snark's First Victim
I really like the description of the ex, but the end of the sentence left me confused. Did he leave her in the rain eleven years ago or now?
Hooked, but I'd rather read if he was standing at her door or what, not that he left her standing in the rain. That can follow.
Hooked! I already like the voice of the MC. I'd read on.
Hooked, but confused on when the standing in the rain happened. Still, coming from a small southern town, I cackled with glee at the description, and love the MC's voice.
When was she left in the rain? Not really hooked. Maybe it's because I'm a Southerner and bull riding and coon hunting -- while they're not something I'd do -- just don't seem... I dunno. I get the feeling they're not meant to be good things. Or even okay things.
too much description
Seemed like the descriptions were vague ideas of what a redneck should be. That kinda turned me off, so I probably wouldn't read on.
Love the voice, love the ex, confused about when she was left. Would love to see a re-write.
I was a bit confused by the timing of the last sentence, also the discription of the ex was a bit over the top for the first line.
The first half of the sentence is intriguing, but the last bit didn't do it for me. I doubt I'd read on.
A little convoluted. Did he leave her standing in the rain eleven years ago? Or now when she runs into him again? I'm guessing the former, but it confuses me enough I don't know as I'd keep reading
I think this can be clearer with some rearranging. As is, I find it confusing.
she married him...not hooked
Not hooked. Show me what's happening now. This implies she's suddenly heard from him. Start with that.
Hooked. I love the list of descriptions -- you get an idea of the ex-husband and her attitude about him from that one sentence.I'll jump on the bandwagon of being confused about when he did the leaving, but my brain rearranged it to something like, "since he left me standing in the rain eleven years ago."
I like it. I'd read on. ^_^
Love the title. But the sentence just doesn't grab me. Between the title, and that first sentence that book is already back on the shelf. It came off because I thought the title was good.
Good hook!! Would keep reading.
Not hooked, sorry.
agreed with falconesse