I don't know. I wasn't hooked. If it was literary fiction, I think I'd buy the imagery, but for a suspense novel, I can't imagine that this would be what the MC remembers, as opposed to the murder itself or what led up to it.
But you've hooked everyone else, so that says you have something here.
Sorry, not hooked. There's something inconsistent about it. It doesn't ring true for me. Perhaps I can't imagine a protagonist focusing on frost and perfect petals. Fortunately, I'm not a majority opinion.
Intrigued, but not really hooked. The dad killing the mom is a good hook, but then it slows down with the roses. I might give it a couple more sentences, but I'd need something more soon.
Yes, I would read on. I think that first sentence is great.
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDeleteI think so.
ReplyDeleteI'd give it a read.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteI'd read on
ReplyDeleteI would keep reading...
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDeleteExcellent mental picture. Hooked
ReplyDeleteGood hook :)
ReplyDeleteI would definitely keep reading.
ReplyDeletehooked enough to definitely keep reading.
ReplyDeleteHooked. Great imagery there.
ReplyDeleteLove the first sentence. I'd keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI love the killing of mother followed by choking buds - I'd keep reading. :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I wasn't hooked. If it was literary fiction, I think I'd buy the imagery, but for a suspense novel, I can't imagine that this would be what the MC remembers, as opposed to the murder itself or what led up to it.
ReplyDeleteBut you've hooked everyone else, so that says you have something here.
Nice.
ReplyDeleteI love this. The imagery and your word choice both hooked me.
ReplyDeleteSorry, not hooked. There's something inconsistent about it. It doesn't ring true for me. Perhaps I can't imagine a protagonist focusing on frost and perfect petals. Fortunately, I'm not a majority opinion.
ReplyDeleteThree generations in one sentence. Great. I'd read more.
ReplyDeleteGreat start!
ReplyDeleteNot really hooked, sorry.
ReplyDeleteIntrigued, but not really hooked. The dad killing the mom is a good hook, but then it slows down with the roses. I might give it a couple more sentences, but I'd need something more soon.
ReplyDeletei'm one of the odd ones out too
ReplyDeleteperhaps build a suspenseful picture by opening with the flowers if they're important to the story and leading into that it was the night mother died