Thursday, March 25, 2010

50 YA Fantasy/Adventure

TITLE: MOONSTONE AND COP
GENRE: YA Fantasy/Adventure


The latch on the factory window was broken, just like Vicki said. Charlie could
open it, but he was short, and the window was high.
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25 comments:

  1. Adam HeineMarch 25, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    A little hooked.

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  2. WyndyDayMarch 25, 2010 at 10:14 AM

    Hooked. It's different, I'd like to find out more.

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  3. AnnaMarch 25, 2010 at 10:17 AM

    I'd keep reading on this one. Why's a short guy trying to bust into (or out of) a broken factory window?

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  4. Jodi MeadowsMarch 25, 2010 at 10:22 AM

    I think I'm hooked.

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  5. MomwomanMarch 25, 2010 at 10:46 AM

    Love the title. Hooked.

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  6. LaurieMarch 25, 2010 at 10:56 AM

    Yep, I want to know more too!

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  7. Meghan S.March 25, 2010 at 10:58 AM

    a little hooked

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  8. fairchildMarch 25, 2010 at 11:03 AM

    Hooked. I want to know what Charlie's up to.

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  9. A.L. SonnichsenMarch 25, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    Yes, I'd keep reading. One thing I'd change (but this is obviously just my opinion): I'd add -- "just like Vicki said it would be." I think this gives the sentence clarification. The way it is now tripped me up and I had to reread. Hope this helps and good luck!

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  10. Tere KirklandMarch 25, 2010 at 11:15 AM

    I like the sense of desperation in so few sentences. And the title. I'd read on.

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  11. HuntressMarch 25, 2010 at 11:17 AM

    I am interested. Call me hooked.

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  12. StinaMarch 25, 2010 at 11:44 AM

    I'd read further.

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  13. Chantal KirklandMarch 25, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    Ok. I'd read more. I want to know why he's breaking-in, so you got me.

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  14. Valerie KempMarch 25, 2010 at 12:22 PM

    Definitely interested. I really like the first sentence, it has great voice. The second not as much, but I still want to read on.

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  15. KateeMarch 25, 2010 at 12:25 PM

    Semi-hooked.

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  16. Moira YoungMarch 25, 2010 at 12:26 PM

    I'm intrigued. I can already envision what's going on even though there's no context (yet).

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  17. bradMarch 25, 2010 at 12:58 PM

    Not really sure how hooked I am, but I would keep going.

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  18. Joshua McCuneMarch 25, 2010 at 1:05 PM

    I like -- already feel bad for Charlie.

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  19. Casey SomethingMarch 25, 2010 at 1:29 PM

    Hooked.

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  20. MHMarch 25, 2010 at 2:14 PM

    Interesting and simple! Hooked.

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  21. PortiaMarch 25, 2010 at 3:04 PM

    Well done! Hooked.

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  22. BarbaraMarch 25, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    Hooked! You start with story rather than explanation, and you have a character in an interesting situation. I'd read more.

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  23. Theresa MilsteinMarch 26, 2010 at 8:50 AM

    Interesting beginning. Just raising questions is enough. Readers don't need to be slammed over the head with excitement.

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  24. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 9:46 PM

    I'd read on.

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  25. SelestialMarch 27, 2010 at 9:54 PM

    Not hooked. Sounds like they're going to get up to some hijinks, but it just doesn't seem "dangerous" enough to really grab me.

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