Yes, I'd keep reading. One thing I'd change (but this is obviously just my opinion): I'd add -- "just like Vicki said it would be." I think this gives the sentence clarification. The way it is now tripped me up and I had to reread. Hope this helps and good luck!
A little hooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked. It's different, I'd like to find out more.
ReplyDeleteI'd keep reading on this one. Why's a short guy trying to bust into (or out of) a broken factory window?
ReplyDeleteI think I'm hooked.
ReplyDeleteLove the title. Hooked.
ReplyDeleteYep, I want to know more too!
ReplyDeletea little hooked
ReplyDeleteHooked. I want to know what Charlie's up to.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'd keep reading. One thing I'd change (but this is obviously just my opinion): I'd add -- "just like Vicki said it would be." I think this gives the sentence clarification. The way it is now tripped me up and I had to reread. Hope this helps and good luck!
ReplyDeleteI like the sense of desperation in so few sentences. And the title. I'd read on.
ReplyDeleteI am interested. Call me hooked.
ReplyDeleteI'd read further.
ReplyDeleteOk. I'd read more. I want to know why he's breaking-in, so you got me.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely interested. I really like the first sentence, it has great voice. The second not as much, but I still want to read on.
ReplyDeleteSemi-hooked.
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued. I can already envision what's going on even though there's no context (yet).
ReplyDeleteNot really sure how hooked I am, but I would keep going.
ReplyDeleteI like -- already feel bad for Charlie.
ReplyDeleteHooked.
ReplyDeleteInteresting and simple! Hooked.
ReplyDeleteWell done! Hooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked! You start with story rather than explanation, and you have a character in an interesting situation. I'd read more.
ReplyDeleteInteresting beginning. Just raising questions is enough. Readers don't need to be slammed over the head with excitement.
ReplyDeleteI'd read on.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. Sounds like they're going to get up to some hijinks, but it just doesn't seem "dangerous" enough to really grab me.
ReplyDelete