Miss Snark's First Victim
Not hooked by the text, but the title and genre interest me more than enough to see where the text leads.
Sorry... I'm not hooked yet. This could be reworded slightly so it's smoother...
Hooked by the title, the text a little less so. I think it needs some polish, but could definitely be a hook.
The note spontaneously combusted? Intrigued, a little confused, but not completely hooked.
My editing pencil came out. Thought "acrid smell" and "stench" comments were repedititive.
Good start, but I think the sentence could use some reworking to make it more powerful.
The title and genre intrigue me, but the opening didn't hook me. However, with a blurb/title I'd read on a bit to see what happened.
Semi-hooked. The idea is interesting. I'm confused on the timing though. Did she drop the note before or after it started to smoke?
Thanks everyone! Great comments. How about something like this:The note in my hand started to curl and smoke and I dropped it with a yelp. A wind rose along with an acrid smell...
The last sentence was passive. I think it needs to be active and relate to the sensations the MC experiences, in order to grab us
A smoking note is intriguing. You've got my attention.