Miss Snark's First Victim
Not really hooked. I don't feel any sympathy or anything to connect with Ry Cooper, assuming he's the MC. I wouldn't read on.
HOOKED!This is my type of character! Got me wondering where the writer is leading him.... ㋡
I'd read on a tiny bit. If Ry was the MC, I'd probably drop it. If the MC was someone describing Ry...then I might keep going.
Hooked! I'm with samsevern. I want to know why we're being introduced to this kid.
I don't like the narrator's voice, it sounds stuffy and judgmental.
Hooked. I really hope Ry in the mc
"the kind of kid" puts me off. I would prefer "he talked back to teachers and..."If he is the MC, I hope you show me why I should care about him in the page or two that follows.
If Ry Cooper IS the MC, I would read on to see whether he changes or not.If he isn't, I would read on to see how Ry Cooper effects the MC.. . . I want to read on!However, if Ry Cooper stays a foul-mouthed, disrespectful delinquent the whole book, I would put it down.
I agree with school_of_tyrannus. This is not a genre I would normally pick up, but the first line draws me in.
I'd read more. As a teacher, I have seen this kid often. I'm interested to see more.
I liked the voice. I'd keep reading.
I liked it and would keep reading. There are some people who always leave their garbage for someone else to pick up... Great opening.
I think it would definitely hook in MG readers. Would keep reading, but like someone else said, I hope Ry Cooper isn't the MC - otherwise your dialogue for a foul-mouthed delinquent is going to be interesting for a MG market!!
*snork* Okay. I'd give it more. I don't know if I'm hooked or not, but I'm certainly not not hooked. ;)
I thought this was great writing. I'd read on.
Hooked. I like the voice, the description, and the potential for things to happen with this Ry Cooper character.
I'd definitely read on. I got a nice feel for the character and he sounds like someone I'd like to read about.
I have a good feel for Ry right from the start, but my first thought was, "I don't want to read about him." I would read on though to see how he is going to figure into the story and if he becomes likeable enough to want to follow. One sentence is too short to decide.
Not entirely hooked, since I wonder if it could be tighter, but I'd read on to see if Ry is our protag or if someone else is commenting on him.
Hm. Nice description. Foul-mouthed sounds a little cliche. Not sure if he's the MC or being viewed by the MC. I'd read some more.
This one caught my eye. Short yet punchy. I'd read on
He's foul-mouthed, and a delinquent... and talks back and doesn't pick up after himself. Does he also watch cartoons and eat cocoa puffs?What I'm saying, is: If you're going for ironic anticlimax, you've succeeded. If that's not what you're going for, what sets Ry Cooper apart from other people his age?
Probably don't need to say that he was "a foul-mouthed delinquent" if you are just going to show it as well. As they say, show don't tell.