Miss Snark's First Victim
Not hooked. Nothing here for me to latch onto (likely what I want is after the 'and' ;-).
Not hooked.
Not hooked--too much like 'it was a dark and stormy night' for my tastes.
Not hooked. Nothing to connect to.
Dead of night - seen it before. Not hooked.
Not hooked. Pretty descriptions, with a slight curiosity pique at the gas lamps, but no character to tie me to.
The lamps are the only thing that grabbed me at all, and that really wasn't enough. Not hooked, though I'd likely finish the sentence.
Not hooked -- trying too hard to set atmosphere, IMO.
It's dark. That's not enough to get me interested in an entire novel. Put your MC into that dark and then I have someone to be interested in.
Not hooked. Sorry.I love the title though! ㋡
Not hooked--sorry! Atmosphere seems a little forced. (25 words is hard!)
Sorry - didn't hook me.
I'd read a little more. I like the description but haven't got a character to care for. I'd decide as soon as someone shows up
Not hooked. "dead of night" is cliche, and there's too much wordiness. It feels too contradictory without better structure and tightening. Shortened and smoothed out (and with knowledge where the sentence is going) and maybe. I like the title.
Not hooked. Nothing here for me to latch onto (likely what I want is after the 'and' ;-).
ReplyDeleteNot hooked.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked--too much like 'it was a dark and stormy night' for my tastes.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. Nothing to connect to.
ReplyDeleteDead of night - seen it before. Not hooked.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. Pretty descriptions, with a slight curiosity pique at the gas lamps, but no character to tie me to.
ReplyDeleteThe lamps are the only thing that grabbed me at all, and that really wasn't enough. Not hooked, though I'd likely finish the sentence.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked -- trying too hard to set atmosphere, IMO.
ReplyDeleteIt's dark. That's not enough to get me interested in an entire novel. Put your MC into that dark and then I have someone to be interested in.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteI love the title though! ㋡
Not hooked--sorry! Atmosphere seems a little forced. (25 words is hard!)
ReplyDeleteSorry - didn't hook me.
ReplyDeleteI'd read a little more. I like the description but haven't got a character to care for. I'd decide as soon as someone shows up
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. "dead of night" is cliche, and there's too much wordiness. It feels too contradictory without better structure and tightening.
ReplyDeleteShortened and smoothed out (and with knowledge where the sentence is going) and maybe. I like the title.